Ken’s boasted a memorably salty and creamy flavor, but was edged out on this list by the refrigerated options. Here is where things started to take a turn in a more positive direction. Whole Foods lived up to its name by creating an all-too-healthy-tasting concoction that simply didn’t belong near our beloved unhealthy entrees, but we appreciated the “clean” list of ingredients that tailors to the health-conscious (not us). If you’re craving ranch soup (is that even a thing?), then you’ll appreciate this ultra-runny option that would honestly work better as a marinade. 365 by Whole Foods Market Organic Ranch Dressing Whole Foods We did like it with vegetables, though, so I can imagine it’s a hit among kids who are forced to finish their plates at dinnertime. And while we appreciated the conjured nostalgia of eating at a shopping mall’s Ruby Tuesday, it just lacked any type of pizzazz to make it stand out among the competition. What’s the story, Wish-Bone? It didn’t take a famous Jack Russell to tell us that this is obviously the go-to bottle at budget salad bars around the country. It was actually a “just no” from all of us, unfortunately, but definitely check out Daiya’s impressive range of vegan cheeses that actually melt! They have earned the official Joey seal of approval. The mouthfeel alone played up its dairy-free qualities which made it seem like the recipe development team put zero effort into masking its lack of real buttermilk or sour cream. But this was as sweet as it was thick and, as a result, practically inedible. Listen, I applaud any brand that attempts to make a mainstream product healthier and more vegan-friendly. “Just no.” - me after taking my first bite. Daiya Homestyle Ranch Plant-Based Dressing It was our least favorite ranch of the bunch, which is saying a lot because there were only a small handful of good ones. Of course, I always appreciate the fact that 100% of Newman’s Own’s sales go to charity, but I’d rather cut a tax-deductible check than subject myself to this sour, mayonnaise-y mess of a dressing that left an almost plastic aftertaste in my mouth after one tiny dip with a carrot. Despite the product tasting pretty decent (at least for a vegan variety), there was entirely too much false advertising, much like the date I had last month where the guy showed up wearing braces with absolutely zero forewarning. And I continue to remain stumped by this factoid to this day. But perhaps the most bizarre finding of all was that the potent herb was nowhere to be found on the bottle’s ingredient list. Instead, it was more like an oily dill with lots of random seasonings. I was reluctant to put this on the list because it by no means tasted anything like a ranch dressing. Tessemae’s Organic Creamy Ranch Dressing Tessemae's And since we sampled a whopping 13 store-bought options, I’m just going to dive headfirst into the results (much like the aforementioned ranch lovers who, again, would treat the dressing like a body wash if they could). So for this week’s uber-important taste test, I had to get by with a little help from my ranch-loving friends.
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